Balancing Family Needs: Communication and Connection

In this episode of Pursuing Uncomfortable, host Melissa interviews Cole Bershback, a yoga instructor, coach, and expert in personal development. Cole shares her insights and experiences on how to approach busy and fast-paced environments in a more intentional way. She believes that by peeling back the layers and examining what we're experiencing, we can make choices about how we engage with our busy lives and decide if we need to make changes or have discussions with our families.

Cole stresses the importance of being intentional about how we approach our busy lives so that we can make the most out of our experiences rather than just going through the motions. She believes that many people have become disconnected from their bodies and lost the signals that their bodies are trying to communicate. To start the process of realignment, she recommends focusing on taking care of the body through activities like sleep, nutrition, exercise, and posture. As the body integrates, people may discover new markers that lead them in the right direction.

Cole's approach to personal development comes from her own life experiences. She survived a head-on collision at highway speed and saw it as a sign of a greater purpose. Recovery was not easy and took years for the body to heal. The hardest part of the recovery was the internal experience of forgiveness, love, and deeper meaning. However, Cole learned to hold the experience more lightly and not let it define her identity.

Cole believes in starting with the body as a way to initiate personal growth. She focuses on helping parents or individuals who want to improve family relationships through personal growth, with the aim of positively impacting family dynamics as a whole.

One notable aspect of Cole's approach to personal development is her emphasis on connection and relationship. Cole's husband is a doer and feels happiest when active, while Cole prefers time for restoration. Open communication is important for understanding and meeting each other's needs. It's crucial not to make assumptions about what a partner or family member wants or needs. By acknowledging each other's perspectives and communicating openly, there is a better chance of finding a solution that works for all.

Another area where Cole emphasizes relationship-building is in the context of parenthood. She recognizes that motherhood can bring feelings of guilt because there's always more that can be done. Rituals of connection, like family dinners or game nights, can help maintain consistency in a family's dynamic. Being present in quieter moments, whether it's for two minutes or two hours, can make a huge difference in feeling connected. Being present means actively listening without being distracted by a to-do list or other thoughts and devices. Presence alone is a valuable connection point in any moment, even if it's only for a short time.

Cole encourages people to embrace their individuality, even if their choices may seem weird or unconventional to others. In fact, Cole suggests that being willing to embrace playfulness and "weirdness" in the body, like kids do, can lead to a two-part benefit of movement and connecting with loved ones. Inviting family into the process can lead to more familial connectivity through play and presence.

Cole also talks about the importance of forgiveness, gratitude, and love. Giving love to the person who hit her in her mind's eye was the biggest game changer of all, and it happened only in the last ten years despite the accident being 21 years ago. Cole realized that she is an imperfect person too and that if she loves herself as she is, she must also love the imperfections in others, including the person who hit her.

In conclusion, Cole Bershback offers valuable insights on how to approach life in a more intentional way. She encourages us to pay attention to our bodies, our relationships, and our individuality. She also emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, gratitude, and love. Pursuing the good life involves being intentional about how we live our lives and how we connect with others.