Episode 64: Pursuing One's Search For Meaning with Nick McGowan

0:24

Nick and I had so much fun recording this interview. He's an incredible human being, always evolving and growing. He's overcome a lot of difficulty in his life. And he shares all of it with us in today's podcast. Something you need to know. Library bar. It exists. And Nick knows where it is. So i can't wait for you to hear this conversation where we talk about how we find meaning in life how it comes to us and how we can use all of that to overcome the difficult and uncomfortable situations.

Melissa: 1:01

Hi, Nick. Welcome to the Pursuing Uncomfortable Podcast.

Nick: 1:05

Hey, Melissa. How are

Melissa: 1:05

you? I'm doing fantastic. Thanks for asking. How are

Nick: 1:09

you? I'm great. It's kind of crazy that it's the end of the year already.

Melissa: 1:13

Um, oh my goodness. Right. It's little less. This is airing in January, but we're recording it in the middle of December. Uh, it's really cold and I think we're about to get our first snow here in central Illinois. Where are you joining us from? Wow.

Nick: 1:27

Your first snow in central Illinois in December. Isn't that a weird thing? Are you guys supposed to get snow in like October

Melissa: 1:34

You know, it's Feas Easter famine. November's really? The wild card. November. It can be in the sixties or it can be miserable and cold, but generally Thanksgiving is about the earliest, but we don't get substantial snow. January. Usually.

Nick: 1:49

That's good. I guess it could be worse. It could be like Buffalo or something. Where I think they had what, six feet of snow at one point a couple weeks ago. That's like seven feet too many Geez. Yeah. Um, I don't own

Melissa: 2:00

a

Nick: 2:01

shovel big enough. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. You need, you need actual equipment to be able to get rid of human sized snow That's crazy. Uh, I'm actually flying to see, no, I don't wanna say snow, but cold country is what I call it. So I'm in the Tampa Bay area now, but I originally grew up in Philly, so I'm used to the snow and the four seasons I lived in, uh, in Philly. For about 30 years. Spent a little bit of time in Portland, Oregon, and then moved to Florida. And you know, I, I always used to joke with people like, eh, maybe I'll move to Florida when I retire in like my sixties or something like that. I moved here in my thirties and now people are like, you gonna move to Philly? You're gonna move back home? I'm like, no, no, no. It doesn't snow on Christmas. And they're like, but don't you miss that? I'm like, no. I could see snow on, you know, pictures that you guys send me, but I can also sit in my pool on Christmas, so feel free to come on.

Melissa: 2:52

Yeah, there you go. Well, Nick, what do you do?

Nick: 2:56

I do a lot. Uh, I guess the easiest way to be able to put it is, is I'm a podcast host for the Mindset and Self-Mastery Show. I'm a mindset self-mastery coach. That's what led me into the podcast. Uh, and outside of that, I'm a sales leader for 3D content company, so I run sales for the consumer products division, and we do 3D modeling all the way up to augmented and virtual. And, uh, it's interesting how all of that ties into psychology and overall mindset. We talk about customers mindsets and their journeys on the product side, specifically when it comes to the 3D content company. Likewise with my clients, I talk about their mindset and their daily lives with their careers and all of that. And same with the show. I have incredible guests on the show just like you do, where we get into. Deep things, things that have, uh, you know, the traumas that have helped shape people and what they've done with them. Some of the stuff that some people are actively processing through and some that people haven't fully processed through. And some of it's live right there on the show. Uh, so I think that's kind of a quick version of what I do.

Melissa: 4:03

That sounds fascinating. have you experienced trauma in your life as well?

Nick: 4:09

Uh, if I didn't, I don't know how I would be human. right? Like, I think everybody at some point has had some sort of trauma. And that's an interesting question because I think there's, you know, things are relative, right? Mm-hmm. like somebody's trauma, uh, looks different, feels different from somebody else's trauma. And I had this actually happen to me. Like I, I think about, um, I had conversations with my ex-wife at one point. I had, I was molested as a child. There were things that had happened, um, and we can go into details if you really want to. Uh, but you know, just at a surface level, there were sexual things that had happened. Um, there was something with my ex-wife where there was something that had happened, but things were relative. And I remember saying to her like, how dare you compared to these things? And as the words came out of my mouth, I was like, how dare me. This is all. Relative. My trauma is different than her trauma. And how she goes about it is different than how I would go about it. And likewise with clients or people that are on the show, or just honestly, people used to start to shoot the breeze with at a bar. you know, being able to get in tough conversations with people. So I think everybody has some sort of trauma. It's just a matter of do you realize it and have you, or are you actively working on it or doing something about it. Um, and I get confused as people get older in life and they don't do things with it. You know, like how can you not, you've lived with this for 30 years or 40 years or 50 years or whatever, and I know that it can break down on people, but I think that's part of the reason why I have the show and why do the coaching is as you act on it and that you work through it, just like a muscle going to the gym, you will actively get better and basically everything else you do because you're doing that thing. But sometimes it takes us a long time to be able to do that. And I think you and I can probably agree, sometimes God will throw us curve balls and you're like, cool, am I gonna hit this one? Oh, is this one gonna hit me? Am I gonna catch it? I know nothing

Melissa: 6:07

about what you speak, Nick. I have familiarity.

Nick: 6:10

You know exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah. And you're like, oh, I caught that curve ball with my chin, you know? And like, that's not where it was supposed to go.

Melissa: 6:18

Oh. Well, you know, a couple things came up for me when you were talking there. One, um, I think we discount our trauma because we have a way of subconsciously classifying it. Well, yeah, I've had some difficulties, but I didn't have that. Yeah. And whatever that is for people. Yeah, so we have a way of discounting those things that happened to us is well, yeah, you know, if it were serious, if it were violence, if it were abuse, if it was molestation, if it was. Pt, you know, PTs D experience from a war zone, you know, then those things would be legit and I could call that trauma and deal with it. But I think we do ourselves a real disservice when, like you said, when we start classifying that because everyone's experience is different.

Nick: 7:13

Yeah. Yes. Have

Melissa: 7:15

you read Victor Frankl's book, search For Meaning?

Nick: 7:18

Man, did I have I read that? Uh, that's got. that's got a big meaning to me. So it, it's interesting cuz I, I don't typically just get into stuff about my divorce or my ex-wife and our relationship, especially right off the bat in a conversation like this. So it's interesting how that actually happened. And then you asked me about man's search for meaning. Uh, so about two years ago there was this, I don't know, um, library. Bar that was put together in some small little town near me that a friend of mine was like, Hey, a buddy of mine just opened up a library bar, like, you can go drink a beer and read a book. I'm like, I'm in. That sounds amazing. I was like, let's do this. This is great. And it was a little bit of a ways away from my house, but I was like, Hey man, I'll come out, I'll meet you, whatever, and I don't like to drink and drive really. So I was like, all right, I'll just have a beer. And meanwhile, at one point I found myself having a beer and doing this, you know, the sideways walk as you're looking at books on the bookshelf. and this tiny little beat up book stood out to me and I didn't know what it was, but I knew like those little God nods where it's like God tells you, go grab this thing. So I just grabbed it and I looked and it was Man's Search for Meaning, and it was one of the older copies of it just sitting in this. Bar. And I remember, uh, going up to the bar and like putting it down. The bartender was like, what's that? I was like, man, search for meaning. I rattle off like, I haven't read it yet, but you know this. I heard great things about it. He was like, all right, cool. He was like, Hey man, this is yours. Have at it. I think they were selling it for like a buck or something, so he was a little nicety, but I remember taking that thing home and spending the next three weeks basically straight reading it, and at that time I was actively working through internally. How am I gonna get a divorce? How do I ask for this thing? Do I ask, do I demand Do I, you know what? How do I do this? And kind of waiting in a sense for God to slap me in the face or throw me that curve ball, because I have those prayers at times where I'm like, all right, smack me in the nose. to get me to notice something. But you don't need to break my nose. Like I don't need to have blood all over the place. But you know, if like you, you, even if you picked your nose the weird one way, you're like, ah, it hurts a little bit. Like that's one of those things, it's like, poke me in the nose. So I go, okay, cool. I got it. Um, that book was like smashing my nose open. Mm-hmm. And I got it because as I was reading through it, the biggest thing was there is meaning in suffering. and how this guy could take the practice that he was going through, then put it into practice, and speak into existence, what he was gonna do after the fact, and then do all of that, and I could read all of it. It made it so much easier to then go, all right, God, I got it. And walk back into the house and say, Hey, we need to finish that conversation. We had two weeks. This is the end of it. And that was, yeah, the thing that helped me over that hump in that moment. Like it's not the thing where, you know, it just encapsulated all of it, but it was, that was huge. So, yeah. Uh, yes, I've read it. To get back to the original question,

Melissa: 10:21

That's crazy. I had no idea you had, and it had such a profound effect, what spoke to me from it. Yeah. And if you haven't read this book yet, he was a prisoner in a Nazi camp during World War ii, the most miserable existence, subsistence, if you will. Yeah. All of the things that you've heard about those camps. He experienced every bit of it. And yet he did well in the camps, not because he had any favors from anyone. It was the opposite of that. Mm-hmm. to be sure, but because of his mindset. Yeah. He decided in his mind that space between his ears, no one else could have. No one else could have that space. He owned that space and no matter what happened in this world, he got to decide what lived in that. Yeah. And because of that, he came through that experience and he came through that experience better than many others. And then his practice as a psychologist, once people found out that he had that experience, they would apologize for their trauma or for whatever it was that brought them into treatment. And he would say, no. Pain is pain. Yeah, pain will fill a vacuum. whatever you have. So that was what came to mind for me earlier when you were unpacking that bit. Yeah, I that's, and it's crazy that that book was instrumental in your

Nick: 11:49

life. Big time. Yeah. Well, I think, uh, I think again, there are things, um, that tie into faith where you're open to those things showing up. Like, um, I don't really like to have expectations of many things, but I do expect to see miracles. And I know that that can be crazy for people to think, but it's not when, if you're looking for the things, you'll see them. You just gotta be aware. and you gotta get yourself to a point where you can become aware of it. And sometimes God will throw a book at your face from some random library bar, an hour and 15 minutes from your house in the middle of you about to get a divorce. You know what I mean? Right. Um, and it's so cool how that stuff happens, but if I wasn't aware of that, It would've just passed over me. So I, I think with, again, with that trauma and going through those things, going back through what has happened, and healing through that will also lead to other opportunities to be able to see where those miracles can come from, you know?

Melissa: 12:48

Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And you know, we can ask God or higher power or spirit, whatever title that you like best. We can ask that spirit, that source, that love to show us something, to reveal a next step. And it's probably not gonna show up on our TV screen like a Netflix, Netflix commercial, but it will become present to us. Yeah. In a lot of different ways. If we're ready to

Nick: 13:17

receive, I do think there are sometimes where stuff will happen, like, uh, know those times when you're changing through radio stations, you're scanning and like sentences will form. They're like, stay on the show, and they're like, whoa. And it's two different episodes of two things, you know? And you're like, oh God. I do find it interesting. Like when you're hyper aware of those miracles that are happening around you, where you can see God, it's kind of playing and things opening. And I think that's kind of that different level that we're able to get to kind of a quantum level or even angelic level where you can look at things at a spiritual plane to see the things that are happening. But it takes us going through the, the craziness to be able to kind of experience that. Uh, it's funny. Um, have you ever heard of the show The Chosen. Yes. All right. So I've uh, I've just started watching the Chosen and I'm, I've been a bible reader for years and years and years and years. And it's interesting cuz I, I had watched the Chosen out of order, like when I first downloaded it, I was great. This is the first episode and it was episode one of season two. I was like, all right, this doesn't make sense. Like there should be backstory, but yeah, whatever. All right, cool. I know these stories anyway, and I got like six or seven episodes in. I was like, wait a minute, this is weird. And I looked, yeah. And I was like, oh, I missed totally season one. But at that point, when I was watching the first six, seven episodes, what I was reading was I was finishing off Samuel the second Samuel, and at the end of Second Samuel, I was like, I'm gonna start the, uh, new Testament again. I'm just gonna start with Matthew and just to kind of work my way. And if I didn't do that, it wouldn't have lined up for me to go back to season two and watch the episodes again from Matthew. Yeah. But that hit me when I started to read again and I was like, I just watched this episode and hear you saying it. But if I would've done this in order, it would've been, uh, you know, in the middle of David doing something crazy and Philistine's coming after him and, you know, everybody killing each other basically. Um, so it's interesting how that stuff kind of ties in where he shows up. I think of it as God's showing up and like kind of laughing, being like, yeah. I did this, like, you're welcome. You know?

Devon: 15:29

Hi, I wanna take a quick moment and tell you about my mom. She's an amazing mom and an amazing podcast host, isn't she? She's also amazing at helping people to understand and manage anxiety and to build a strong spiritual practice. She has online courses, books, and a lot of free resources and downloads to help you live in amazing life. So please check out Light Life and love ministries.com Edge, our YouTube channel. Lily started the show notes.

Melissa: 15:57

Yeah. I've had a couple moments like that. Uh, when I left the seminary, graduated seminary, I came to the small little town that I serve now, still some 21 years later. But at the time, this was just gonna be my practice interview. My real church was down south and I was gonna get my practice in here so I would be good to go. When I interviewed them down in that, in that wooded paradise where I knew God was calling me to go. So I come up to this place, to, I. And I'm originally from Illinois and that was also part of the deal. Okay, God, I'll go anywhere in the world do you want me to go? Not Texas or Illinois, you know, no solid reason. I don't hate Texans or anything like that. It was just the, the folley of the time. But anyway, so I'm coming up to Illinois for my practice interview. I pull off the in. For to exit in this place where I'm gonna interview. And I was overwhelmed with a sense of home. Ah, I mean like a big fat elephant sat on me and said, Hey, guess what? You're home to the point I had to pull off the road. I had exited off the ramp and there was a white shoulder there and I had to pull over and stop for a while. Like, okay, that's awesome. I get it. Yeah, let's make them nice people. Huh?

Nick: 17:27

Yeah. Am I gonna like home Right. It's gonna be a good home

Melissa: 17:32

And uh, then when, uh, I came back months, a couple months later to move in with all my stuff, the doubts are always there. Is this really the right thing? Yeah. Am I really where I need to? Hmm. It hit me. It, there was a tractor, it, this was in the middle of spring and there was a tractor working the dirt. And in central Illinois in these farming communities, people will know exactly what I'm talking about, but the, there's an, an aroma, I guess if you open up a bag of potting soil, it's the same smell. But when you're driving down the road in central Illinois in the spring and a tractor is working the dirt, that is the aroma in the air. And it just hit me. It's like, ugh. Yeah, I am home. This is home.

Nick: 18:23

Yeah. That's awesome. And especially to know that like, and think about it, you had the option to go, no, no, no, no. It's not. I told you I didn't want to be here. Listen. Yeah, you listen to me, God, you know, like cuz that'll ever work for you. Um, but it's an option. You know what I mean? Where you're able to do that and say like, no, I don't want to do it. But the fact that you're aware enough to go, Ooh, okay. And leaning into it. Think about those little steps that we have to take to be able to do it. And even on a macro level, we have that option every single day with the trauma and the nonsense that we've been through to go, well, do I wanna deal with this thing? Like you had mentioned earlier about, uh, the people that are like, yeah, but at least I'm not that person. Or that thing is worse. It's not, especially if it's. Pulling on you. If it's still pulling you down, you still have to process through it, even if it was something tiny and stupid. Now, I think most of the trauma that we deal with stems from childhood trauma. It's not something that happened in your late twenties. It's something that happened in your, you know, as a seven-year-old, as a six-year-old. Then showed up in your late twenties and showed back up in your forties, et cetera, because you didn't do anything with it, and going back and being aware of that stuff. So I, I think there's a lot to that too, where God will kind of show stuff to us to go, Hey, you should be aware of this thing. And then sometimes they're like, that's cool, thanks. And moving along. And he's like, but you should look at this. Alright. You know, whatever you want it, it's here. I'm here to help you. And we sometimes just disregard it. But it's uh, you know, I think those things, when we look at it and we do something about it, that sets off a cascade effect for the miracles to be able to show up, you know, kind of wraps everything.

Melissa: 20:06

Absolutely. And the phrase that Jesus often spoke, for those who have the eyes to see, that always stood out to me. Yeah. And more and more so it, seven years ago, I may not have had the eyes to see what I have the eyes to see today that, uh, You know, when we're, when we are ready for the next bit, whatever that bit is in life, whether it's healing or whether it's a challenge, or whether it's an area of growth, whatever it is, when we're ready for that next bit, we're gonna have the eyes to see it. Mm-hmm. and it's gonna present itself to us. Sometimes healing is like that. We get to a point where we do have the eyes to see and it's in front of us. What are we gonna do with

Nick: 20:57

it? Hmm. Yeah. And it's on us to do something with it, you know? Uh, okay. I think of when people, uh, about the people that are like, you know, well, Jesus will fix it. Yeah. Yeah. He'll, he'll help you. He'll guide you in the direction to go fix the thing. He's not just gonna come down and be like, move Susan, I got this. It's really how it, it works. Yeah. Hold on. Like I think of, uh, you remember that Saturday Night Live with. Uh, who was it? Uh, I forget, but it was Nick, the computer guy, and he would just be like, move, just get in the way. Like fix the things. That's not how Jesus works. It's not, it's just not how it works at all. Uh, but to be able to actually have the. The sense, the common sense that comes from that to go, all right, cool. What do I do with it? Like, I often pray for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. And then the, the courage to go do something with that. Because if you, mm-hmm. if you get the wisdom and you have knowledge and you understand it all. But you're afraid to move that you're like, I know all these things, but I can't do anything with it. So being able to kind of take all that and, all right, well, sometimes I just need strength where you're like, all right, God, this is scary. Just, okay, I'll pick up the right foot. Oh, usually I should pick up the left. Okay. And then you're able to kind of move along from there. So I, I think it's interesting how that stuff works at times too, where you're like those little baby faith steps, but it goes back to the trauma to be able to fix that stuff or. process through it and figure out what, what do I get from it? Is it something I wanna take with me? Is it something I wanna remove? So it's no longer part of my journey anymore, you know?

Melissa: 22:35

And I find that every step you take, God's gonna multiply that. Hmm. Whenever you take any kind of action, th. That's gonna get multiplied. Uh, spirit, god, love, universe, whatever. Mm-hmm. it is that speaks to you, that's gonna come up and partner with you when it's the right moment and you take that step, trust that there's gonna be some acceleration, some momentum added to it, some multiplication of it. Yeah. That's when you know that you are on this path that God has placed before.

Nick: 23:08

Yeah, absolutely. There's a, a mantra that I, I think about, uh, often it's the right things happen for me at the right times, always. Mm-hmm. because they do. But there are times where I get really upset where I'm like, man, why isn't this thing happening? Oh, cause it's not the right time. Well, it's the right time like now. What about like now and how about now? And you know, I feel like I'm like that little kid in the back like, Hey God, are we there yet? And he's like, shut up. We are not there yet. Just calm down. I'm like, okay, cool. Are we there yet?

Melissa: 23:42

And I'm on the opposite part of that. Uh, I'm an Enneagram nine for anyone who's into the Enneagram. So I tend to just kind of numb out when things get overwhelming. Mm. So when there's something big in front of me, and that's why pursuing Uncomfortable is such a compelling title for me, because that's a reminder to myself to do the work, to lean into it, to get it overcome, and get it whatever it is outta your life. But my tendency is to say, yeah, that seems big. Hey, look. Look what's on Netflix now. Let's

Nick: 24:19

walk outta the situation.

Melissa: 24:21

Yeah. Or it, you know, at least for a moment to get a few breaths. And the older I get, the more, yeah. Wisdom that comes my way. I use that reflex, that instinct as a time to take a breath and remind myself that I now have the eyes to see this. Yeah. It is time the step I take. I don't have to have the whole plan together. I don't have to have every bit of information I need. Yeah. I'm gonna take a step and I'm gonna. That, that's gonna be multiplied.

Nick: 24:56

That's a big thing, and especially with the show, like, congrats for stepping out and being vulnerable with that. You know, this is a big thing that a lot of people talk about doing a podcast, but they'll never get to the first episode. You and I were shooting the breeze about being 50 plus episodes in and pursuing the uncomfortable, so really well done on you for, for doing that and leaning in and being an example for it.

Melissa: 25:22

Thank you. And to you also However, I, I do question my decision of showing these interviews on YouTube because a lot of times, you know, I'm an emotional gal and when people are going through their stories, the tears are coming down the red. I am not a pretty crier I, a red, puffy crier, like, great, let's put this on YouTube. Great decision. There.

Nick: 25:47

Well, as we talked about before, um, trimming sometimes, uh, will be done by itself. So the people that stick around and enjoy those things, I think that's, you know, one of the biggest things about podcasting and I think it's probably two big things about life. Just gotta be authentic and consistent. And those are things that we know from having successful podcasts. And I think a lot of people that enjoy our shows enjoy us and the. Stuff that we add to it, the flavor of things, and some of that's your flavor. You know, if you're just. Crying mess for an hour every episode. Actually, you know, there are probably people that are into that sort of thing too, but that's a different story.

Melissa: 26:27

So I recall a persona from the 1980s who, that was her brand, but

Nick: 26:33

not my brand. yeah. Not your brand. I mean, if that's what you wanted to do, then go for it. Um, right. But I think there's little communities for everybody. I mean, we talked about the stuff like, uh, the religious side of this or the, the faith side. and they're different people that connect with different people. And you don't have to connect with everybody, but you do need to connect with yourself, you know? And I think that's something that we as people sometimes just easily get away from, where we don't want to connect with ourselves as, as you talked about before, of like, ah, well, you know, at least I'm not in that spot, or that thing didn't happen to me. It's like, okay, cool. But that story, no longer actually. Like, what about your stuff and how do you do things differently? Um, but that's, that's on us. We gotta look at ourselves. At first it's like people aren't gonna save you. So when I was talking about the people that are, um, like, uh, you know, Jesus is gonna save me, I think of that joke where, you know, there was people that were in a flood, they're on top of the roof, and God in a boat, a plane, a helicopter, whatever. And he is like, I sent all these things to you. I was trying to help. And it's for us as people, they'll be able to actually do something with the things that are in front of us instead of not pursuing that uncomfortable and just diving deeper inside and going, all right, this sucks a little bit. And I die a little bit, but you know, it's all right. It's okay. At least I'm not in some third world country. I have food on my table. It's like, yeah, okay, cool. But do you hate life? Yeah, yeah, I do. Okay, well we should fix that. We should do something different.

Melissa: 28:05

And that's the thing, life is so full of nuance. It's always a fine line of, you know, I can't fix myself. I do need that holy presence in my life. Mm-hmm. I do depend on that, but it is also dependent upon my action and finding that nuance, that balance of. God's presence and my persistence and my actions, and then finding that balance of what do I really, really want in life, and am I willing to put in the work to get that mm-hmm. And if I'm not, where does the adjustment need to come? Yeah. In what I want or in what I'm willing to do. There's so much nuance in life, and I have found that, I don't know if you can identify with this or not Nick, but my prayer style and this so works for me, let me tell you, is generally it's a whole lot of, okay, God, here's what I want and here's the parameters. I'm thinking if we could work within this little space here, that would be fantastic. And here's the timeframe I'm looking. Can we make this happen? those aren't the words I use. Sure. But for so much of my life, that was how I was praying. Yeah.

Nick: 29:26

it's so, one, there's no like totally wrong way to pray, but I guess if you're just yelling at God the entire time, everybody up there might frown upon it. But realistically, to be able to do that. So what, what happened at one point where you're like, hold up, I need to change.

Melissa: 29:43

Yeah, when I was called into ministry, didn't see that coming. Nothing I ever pursued. And it was, I think it's fair to say, well, outside of my comfort zone, Hmm. I was a molecular biologist. I was a lab rat, I was a teacher. And, uh, To my prayers, were in that space. I mean, those weren't the words I used, but I wanted God to work within what was comfortable for me to bring about the things I wanted. Yeah, and I wanted it quickly. Makes sense. And when I was faced with this whole calling into ministry business, and that's a whole other story for a whole other day, uh, that just blew me wide open and my prayers became very authentic, very real. And very much embracing that Romans eight passage of sometimes the size are too deep for human words. And the spirit within me is gonna do the heavy lifting today cuz I don't have it

Nick: 30:47

myself. Oh yeah, big time. Like there are times where you can't speak, uh, what's that verse where, uh, the Holy Spirit will speak in grunts and moans and groans too deep for human words. Yeah. And when you can sit on that, you're like, I don't know how to put this. But I can feel it toward you, you know? And being able to put that out there, that's a huge thing. But yeah, it is interesting, like, uh, when you think about prayer should be a certain way, but then one point you get to a point where it's you and your friend and your father, and you're having that conversation and you're like, this, how do I deal with this? And I think it's super cute for you to be like, I would really like it and this by this time, like this. Okay. Thank you. All right. Bye bye. Like, let me know when it's done and Amen. Yeah,

Melissa: 31:35

Uh, too good. So what's the biggest monster shadowing your life these days?

Nick: 31:43

Hmm. Enjoying the present. I, uh, I can easily get into future nick thinking about things that have to happen way down the road, and I can easily jump into the stuff that's happened before and how it translates into what I'm doing now. And it's been easy for me ever since I was a little kid to look at things from a third party so I can be kind of a fly on the wall, look at all of those, but sometimes I don't just sit here and say, Thanks. You know, like, um, I love what I have and I've been working on that. Um, so I, I think that that's kind of the biggest monster that I'm working on because that allows me, when I get into those grateful moments, it allows me to look at things differently, even if I was in a great spot, looking at something, having that little bit of gratitude and understanding the spot that I'm at and the, the decisions I've made to get here with the faith that I have and God's love and grace. It almost just makes me get goosebumps each time I think about that, and it's not like it that just comes up in the middle of a meeting or in the middle of shooting a video or with a client or on an interview or what have you, and it's easy for me to just go, go, go, go, go, go, go where doing what I can to be more present and work in those specific moments. And appreciating the incremental growth. Uh, I'd always been one of those people that really want to knock out every single thing that I can. And I get super frustrated, like I'd mentioned earlier, where I'm like, Hey, God, are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? And God can see that it's like a hundred yards away. And he's like, yeah, we'll get there, but I don't know if you're gonna last. Like, I might kill you before that. And I'm like, but are we there yet? Are we there yet? We there yet? Where realistically I should just sit back and enjoy, enjoy the ride, and enjoy what comes from. and that's a thing that I, I think would be the big monster that I'm kind of working through.

Melissa: 33:40

So next, sit down, because this is gonna be a shocking revelation, but I'm getting a sense that you might be a type A personality.

Nick: 33:50

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe you're right.

Melissa: 33:54

You know, and gratitude is such, it's the secret sauce, isn't it? Yeah. It keeps us focused on what we have. Yeah. Not on what's missing.

Nick: 34:03

Mm-hmm. and those feelings. I love that you brought that. Yeah. Well, I think, uh, we were talking about there are certain things that you can't say, you just can't put into words, and it's the feeling and being able to communicate that with the higher power or whatever it is. Even if you communicate that with yourself, there are deeper feelings that you need to feel and feeling the gratitude of this thing that I'm working on, or even this conversation, like here I am in the middle of the day where I have other things that are going on, but I get to have a conversation with. You've asked me to be on the show, I'm honored in that sort of way. I could also look at it and be like, Ooh, oh my God, I gotta do another interview today. Geez, check this off all these interviews. Oh God. But that's not the case because this is, this is life. These are the magical moments, and that's what it's about. So I feel appreciative that I get to have these magical moments just sometimes I'm, I'm appreciative, but I'm like, oh, that's cool. And what about this thing? And what about this and what about that? Really owning that moment, and I think sitting in that moment allows us to then pull in those things from the future and start coming to us a lot faster because we're actively feeling that. Mm-hmm.

Melissa: 35:14

Fred Rogers was interviewed by Chris Rose once, and Chris Rose asked him about the. Magnitude of people he has influenced. Yeah, and Fred Rogers would never cut anyone off and he didn't cut Chris Rose off, but he, I think was ready to, but his response was, none of that matters. The only thing that matters is you are right in front of me right now, in this moment. That's the only number that matters. If we can live in the moment, be present to the people in front of us, that is what's important. Yeah, and that's what I heard you. Mm-hmm. And you know, my other takeaway from this conversation that we've had today is library bar is a thing and can be more of a thing. Yeah. Folks, if you are listening to this and you are inspired library bar. That's it. Make it

Nick: 36:09

happen. Yep. Let us know. We'll come

Melissa: 36:12

Absolutely. All right, Nick, this has been fun. I could talk to you for the rest of the day. I don't know if the, the listeners wanna hang in for hours long conversations.

Nick: 36:24

Yeah. We'll let them go

Melissa: 36:26

Yeah. If so, they can let me know and we'll have you back again. Yeah. But I would like to give you the last word today. What would you like to leave us with as we.

Nick: 36:35

Well, I wanna leave it with a praise to you. Again, thank you for stepping out, doing what you felt to be uncomfortable and setting up a platform to help other people talk about the things that they're pursuing that's been uncomfortable for them. So I wanna thank you for having me on the show, um, and for being a part of it. I'd love to have you on my show at some point if I can do a nice little plug here. The show is the mindset and Self-Mastery. Talk about some similar things that I'm sure you and your guests get into. Um, but that's, it's really about the journey that I'm on to be able to pursue self mastery, which is kind of just discipline and, uh, enjoying life. But I appreciate you doing what you've done because as we said earlier, uh, a lot of people won't do the first episode. A lot of people won't get past 10 or 50, and you just keep rocking with it. So thank you for doing what. Thank you

Melissa: 37:22

Nick. And folks, you don't have to search far for his podcast. It's an amazing podcast. The link is in the show notes. Make sure you click on it and check it out. Nick, this has been amazing. Thanks friend, for joining me today. I know I feel inspired talking to you and I hope other folks do. And if you hear nothing else from us today, hear this. We believe in you. But that really doesn't matter because there's a higher power that believes in you. Whether or not you believe in that higher power, that higher power believes in you. And whatever mountain is in front of you, whatever monster's shadow you are in at the moment that doesn't have to have the last word, lean into it, pursue it, embrace the difficult things, and find light in the other side. Thank you, Nick, for joining today.

Nick: 38:20

Thank you.