Episode 73: Pursuing Health, Faithfully with Karis Meier

0:24

Karis has suffered with chronic illness every day for many years. Generally, in life, when we encounter suffering, it has a polarizing effect. For some, it takes us far away from faith. For others, it causes us to embrace our faith. Karis embraced her faith and has learned so much about life, health, and God. She's here today to share her story with the Pursuing Uncomfortable Podcast. Let's welcome Karis.

Melissa: 0:59

caris, welcome to the Pursuing Uncomfortable Podcast. How are you today?

Karis: 1:04

I'm doing pretty well. Thanks for having me.

Melissa: 1:07

It's my pleasure, Caris. I know so many people are

Karis: 1:10

going to identify with your message today and going to be drawn

Melissa: 1:15

in by your gentle and compassionate personality, so I'm really excited to get right into things. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you.

Karis: 1:27

I'd love to. So currently, um, my husband and four children, and I live in Virginia, Northern Virginia, um, just south of dc. Um, husband's in the military. So we have moved 12 times in 17 years. So kind of have a transitory lifestyle, but we've enjoyed it here so far. Um, I have had a variety. Jobs over the years. Um, did counseling for a while, but right now I'm mainly focused on raising my four kids, so their ages two to 12. Um, and recently just, uh, in October, um, published a book. And so that was kind of the other main focus area for me. Um, so that's kind of in very short detail, kinda where I'm at. Right. And the

Melissa: 2:22

name of the book you just published is Suffering Redeemed, finding Strength To Endure Purpose and Pain and Hope for Tomorrow. So with a title like that and a subtitle like that, there's gotta be a backstory.

Karis: 2:39

Yes, definitely is. Um, and it's, it's interesting cuz I never imagined. Publishing a book. I, I've never even thought of myself really as a writer. Um, but I, I was actually on my honeymoon where I started having some stomach issues and started losing weight and then just kind of went downhill from there. And several months later I was diagnosed, um, with some different parasites that I had picked up visiting my sister in Pakistan, um, a year before. And so it just, the type that I had, it was pretty severe and I had to go through lots of treatments. I got rid of them. So I was like, okay, Dick got rid, you know, finished that thing, now I'm gonna move on with my life. But I never recovered from that. Um, I just, they had done quite a bit of internal damage and then I started having different problems with organs, my heart and kidney and pancreas and, um, in and out of the hospital several times. Um, the, actually in the beginning, the doctors told us, cuz they also had, um, a tumor on my pituitary gland. I was kind of messing up a lot of my hormones, so they said I would never be able to have children, um, and in, in conjunction with all my other health problems. Um, so we kind of, you know, settled that, okay, God, we're, we'll just focus on other things even though we both really wanted children. Um, but God, God, God did. Give us four miracle through, through all the health stuff. But yeah, it kind of brought me on this journey that I'd never, never expected. I'd always been very healthy, um, very athletic growing up, played soccer and track. Um, and then all of a sudden I was, you know, 20, 25. And in this body where, Just, I couldn't, it wasn't functioning well and it seemed like the, the trials, you know, just as we prayed for healing, things just continued to get worse and worse and worse. And it was just one thing after the other. Um, and so I would say probably about eight years into it, I kind of, I think for so long I had just been trying to kind of cope with it to be strong on my own. Um, I, I never wanted to complain about it cuz I, I knew, I think growing up I grew up as a missionary kid, so seeing so much of the world, um, in the, in the, in the suffering that mo many people endure, I thought, you know, mine, my suffering isn't really that big, so I, I can just, you know, pull up my bootstraps and just, you know, try to, try to endure. But, um, it started wearing me down not only physically but spiritually. Mentally, emotionally, relationally. I mean, it really affected every aspect of my life. And I got to a po a point where I was just very broken. Yeah. Um, very desperate, you know, desperate for God to, to reveal more of himself to me. You know, I'd, I'd always had a relationship with the Lord, um, because my parents, you know, raised us in a strong, a strong environment like that. I think it was through a lot of these, you know, very desperate nights of affliction where I, um, kind of was forced into this relationship where I, I had to be, I, I needed more. Like I, I, I grew a dependence upon the Lord. Um, and, and really just really humbled me too, to realize like, I, I don't have it all together. Like I think I do, you know, I don't, I can. Put on this happy face like I've been doing for so many years because, um, it, it, there's only so much that are flesh that are, um, um, without a strength from both from God, but also from others. You know, I need, I needed to learn how to receive help and to, um, just reveal more of my weakness and struggle. So, um, anyways, so it was, sorry. So and so, he's back there. Yes. Yes. Um, so yeah, so it was, and then about five years ago, in the middle of the night, God spoke to me quite clearly saying, Caris, you, you, you need to start writing. And at that time I was like, God, what, what am I gonna write about? I, I felt so, I felt so just broken down at that point and really didn't feel like I had. Anything to offer other people, you know, let alone, um, the energy to write. And so, but I did a couple, after a couple weeks of procrastinating, I just started writing like what God was teaching me. You know, just a lot of, um, soul struggles, a lot of questions that I was grappling with a lot of, um, the things that, that the Bible said in my own life. Seeing like, God, how is this measuring up? How is your, your word and the faith that we are supposed to have as Christians, how do we live that when our lives feel so completely, um, different? Like it, it doesn't feel the, the truth, like the, the circumstances of my life seem to override the truth a lot of the times. And so just a lot of things that I just internally was struggling with and then, I started a Facebook group and then started a blog through that, just kind of realizing, wow, God is really revealing a lot to me through this. And, um, I could see glimpses of his grace and his purposes through the pain and, and just how, you know, at the right time, he would provide the hope or a word from someone else or encouragement in some way. Um, and so it was through a lot of that writing that I. That the book kind of was born, even though at the time I had no idea that what I was writing was gonna be a book. Um, so yeah, that's kind of how it, it came to be. You know, another

Melissa: 8:54

person in your position experiencing what you were experiencing might have run away from their faith, might have lost their faith. What do you think was a difference for you that you

Karis: 9:06

embraced it? Oh yeah, it wasn't so I don't think, I think it's a continual thing that, um, and even today it's not like I'm looking back and saying, I'm, I, you know, I'm over it now. It's still, you know, something. My pastor, I remember as a kid, one of my pastors said that he, he prayed every day that God would give him faith to keep trusting, to keep believing God's goodness. You know, to keep the faith. And I always thought that was so strange. I'm like, why do you have to, you know, like it's so easy to believe in God, you know, once you, you accept it. And, but you know, as I went through this, I realized, yes, like it, it takes a daily surrender of my own will. And really that's what it is. It's continually, even today, like I have to surrender, okay, God, this is not my will to be living like this, but I'm gonna surrender to you and I'm gonna keep living in faith. That you have a bigger picture, that you have a bigger plan. That I can entrust myself and my body and everything that's going on, even though it makes no sense to me. Um, and so I think a lot of it is just having the humility, um, to, to entrust it to God, you know? And, and, and, yeah, there's a lot of people I know who have turned away from God because they can't reconcile the suffering with this good God. Um, and, and I, and I can understand that cuz I've been there, I've been in those desperate places where it feels like, you know, my, I can feel my heart kind of hardening. Like I just, I don't know if I can turn back. I don't know if I can turn back to you, God. Cause I feel like you've forsaken me at times. Even though when I look back and I recognize it, I'm like, no, he has, he has never forsaken me. I just, our feelings and our circumstances can make it, you know, make it seem like that at times. You know, I think it's, it's, it's a lot of things, but, but it comes down to God's grace and his pursuit of us when we are willing to, um, to turn back to him.

Devon: 11:15

Hi, I wanna take a quick moment and tell you about my mom. She's an amazing mom and an amazing podcast host, isn't she? She's also amazing at helping people to understand and manage anxiety and to build a strong spiritual practice. She has online courses, books, and a lot of free resources and downloads to help you live in amazing life. So please check out Light Life and love ministries.com Edge, our YouTube channel. Lily started the show notes.

Karis: 11:43

That's beautiful. Thank

Melissa: 11:44

you for sharing that with us. And I think, you know, suffering gives us such tunnel vision. We can only see down that narrow path, and it's hard to see all the. Goodness and all the other things all

Karis: 11:58

around us. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's so true. I think, um, when we get so focused, and I, I guess I speak from experience when I get so focused just to get out of my pain, cuz there's been times where I'm just, I, I feel like I'm obsessed. Like there's, you know, cuz there's so many. People who, who, when you're in a situation, they'll give, they'll offer suggestions like, have you tried this? Have you done this? Have you done this? Have you done this? You know, and out of the goodness of their heart, they're offering, you know, different solutions that maybe work for someone else, work for a friend, worked for a coworker. And, you know, and when you're down that trail of like, trying everything possible, and it, I'm not saying there's nothing, there's nothing wrong with, with, you know, trying supplements or diets or medications or whatever. But when that becomes the main thing, it, you lose hope. Because when it doesn't work, then it's just the cycle of disappointment after disappointment, after disappointment, you know, and, and that being the main thing versus, yeah, keeping your eyes on God and realizing that, um, there may be things that, um, he brings in to help for a while, but, but if our hope is in that specific, you know, coming out of whatever we're. And it doesn't happen, then we will lose our faith because that is the, that becomes the idol, you know, that becomes the, the goal that we're living for. And I've, I've had to, I've definitely had to, uh, repent of making health and ile, um, because I just, I want it so bad. You know? I want, I want to be able to eat the things I want to, again, I want to be able to do the things or feel the way I want to again. Um, and I, you know, I think. Is a good God who wants to give us good gifts, of course, but um, but they don't always, we don't always get them, um, in the way, in the time that we want. So when are you at your worst? Um, mornings are usually the first couple hours in the morning are for me, are usually pretty hard. Um, I have neuropathy, so I have a lot of, um, nerve uh, pain. And after sleeping, I often am quite in a lot of pain. And then also, um, just a lot of digestive problems. But thankfully I usually try to get up early and have that time spending with the Lord before the kids wake up. Um, which I find to be. So, I don't know how I would do it without, without that time with the Lord first thing in the morning because it really gets me on the right track. You know, I really have to. For joy and for faith. I feel like every day just, you know, to say, okay, God, it's a new day, and your mercies are new every morning. even though it's, you know, some mornings don't feel like it. Um, but he, he's, I just, I just have to, you know, I just always think, you know, he's just so faithful to get us through. Um, every time we turn to him, every time I turn to him, he was so faithful to respond.

Melissa: 15:13

If we can shift gears for a moment. Mm-hmm. I would love to hear about what it was like that first moment when you realized you were pregnant.

Karis: 15:27

Oh, yeah. I'll never forget it. Um, I, I was so shocked. I actually, a month beforehand, I had been reading in Joel where it talks about, Um, Joel too. I talked about God leaving a blessing. When I read that verse, I immediately thought, I immediately came the, the, the picture came to mind of, of a, of a baby in my arms. And I was thinking, that is so strange. So a month later when I found out I was pregnant, immediately that verse came to mind. And, you know, I didn't really like, even though I kind of was like, well, maybe God's saying that we're having a baby. I don't know if I really had faith at that point that that's what it was gonna be. Um, but yeah, it was, it was so unexpected, um, and, and such. But it was a huge blessing. And I will say that my children, even though they're a lot of work, and in some days I'm like, God, I don't know if I have the energy to keep up with these kids, but they, they give me so much joy and, and even just. Inspiration to keep going. You know, some days I'm like, I don't, I don't feel like getting outta bed, but I know my kids need me, you know, and they, um, and they, they're, so, I think the thing I've struggled with most, and this have not complete, like directly answer your question, but I've struggled the most with, is, How my illness is gonna affect my children. You know, how them seeing me, you know, in and out of the hospital and their anxiety over, is mommy gonna be okay? You know, and how, how, you know, they pray and pray and pray and pray for my healing. And, and my son came down the other, he, my 12 year old came down the other day and he was like, mom, I've been praying for two hours that God would heal you. You know? And he's like, do you feel better? And, um, yeah, so my heart just breaks cuz I, I struggle like, Lord, are they going to, um, be disappointed or like lose their faith because they don't see you answering their prayers, you know? But, and I've, I've seen almost the opposite. I almost seen like how God has used this in their lives to grow compassion and love and just a sensitivity to other people who are suffering, you know. And, um, I mean, of course they're kids. They're, they're selfish and whatever, but, but they also have this, you know, their, their eyes, I think are open to, to not just, you know, to, to, to realize that life is hard and that we need God, you know, to, to that. We, we have to keep turning back to him. And things aren't easy, but that doesn't mean that we go someplace else. You know, we, we keep going back to God. So, yes, it was, um, I just see God's hand. um, in, in all these years, you know, it's been 18 years now, and yet I feel like every child, um, was just ano uh, another provision of his, um, of his grace and his blessing in our lives. So

Melissa: 18:33

beautiful images in there. Thank you so much for that. How old are your kids?

Karis: 18:39

So, yeah, we, I have a 12 year old boy. His name's Nia, and then a nine year old girl es. Six year old girl, Hannah, and a two year old who's Judah. Yeah.

Melissa: 18:52

I can't wait to see what the future holds for them. It's a difficult path for them for sure, but the way that you frame it for them I think will make all the difference.

Karis: 19:05

Thank you for that encouragement.

Melissa: 19:07

With faith and love and compassion, not just for them but for others. I think that will have a lasting and profound effect on them. Mm-hmm. and the world will be a better place for it. what do you want to accomplish with your book?

Karis: 19:29

Oh, so many people have asked me that question. And it's funny cuz I, I worked through, um, a self-publishing school. Um, I had no idea what I was doing. And so I just, I, I, I needed help like getting an outline and trying to figure out what, you know, how to, how, what, what, what do I do? And so I, I signed up with this self-publishing school and, um, and they, they did ask me that question at first. I was like, I. I don't, I, I honestly felt like it, for me, it was an act of obedience. Like the Lord really put a lot of things on my heart, and then he kind of just brought me to this point where I felt like I should turn it into a book. And so I, I didn't realize while I was writing it that in order for people to read it, you have to like put it out there for the world to see. And I am not a huge, like I. Like marketing, when they were talking about like marketing and like asking people to read it and review it. I was like, oh no, I don't wanna do any of that. I don't like, I don't like being in front of people. Even like doing podcasts is a little bit outside my comfort zone. But, but I realized, you know, like a friend challenged me, she's like, you know, so many people have messages to share with the world that are, that are not full of hope, that are, that are even. You know, just bad, you know, like, and, and, and how much more should you, you know, if you have a story to tell that is hopeful and that you wanna help people be willing to, you know, get it out there for more people. And, and so that really helped change my perspective some, and, and, um, so I just, you know, I've kind of just been going with, with how God has been leading me and who he brings in my path, um, to be able to share it. So I don't have like a specific goal. I just, my heart is that, um, God would bring me to the people and bring the book to the people who, who need it, uh, you know, in their time. And I've, you know, I've had so many responses saying like, this is exactly how I'm feeling. I just didn't know how to write it, you know, cuz like I said earlier, I didn't at the time, I probably would've written a lot of things differently if I had known it was gonna be going out to the world. And I, I, I think the vulnerability that I wrote was, was quite raw and, um, unpolished, you know, I think I, I would've, yeah, I would've done things differently, but I think that's kind of, what makes it, um, powerful is that I, I wasn't trying to hide things and I, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm still in it, you know, I, I think it'd be lot easier if I had, I thought sometimes when I was, you know, earlier, earlier years, like, oh, maybe was like, get this great healing. You know, I have such a great testimony to share. Then I can, you know, I'll be excited to share it with other people and I can tell how good God is and what he's done. But it's different when the testimony is, you know, I'm still walking in it, but God is still good. Um, but that's where a lot of people are, right? I mean, that's where the reality, um, is. And we have to wait a lot longer than we want sometimes. Um, so,

Melissa: 22:53

you know, the world has enough polished, filtered messages and people. I think we really need the raw, authentic, authentic messages. That's really what our souls hunger for, I think. Mm-hmm.

Karis: 23:09

Mm-hmm. And also, I would love to encourage you

Melissa: 23:13

in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, don't put your

Karis: 23:16

life where it's hidden plan.

Melissa: 23:21

Shine it where the whole city can see it, and you have a light in you, a God-given. and a light that God has asked you to share. So share it boldly.

Karis: 23:34

Yeah, that's good. Thank you. Thanks for that encouragement. That's good reminder. Yeah. Well, it's not me.

Melissa: 23:44

Jesus, this word. So That went too well. Yeah. Yeah. Um, we are nearing the end of our time here. I do want to give you an opportunity. uh, to talk to that person listening to the podcast today that's hurting. Who's struggling with their, with their faith, with their life, with the choices that they have in front of them. What encouragement do you speak to that, that beautiful soul?

Karis: 24:15

Yeah. Well, I think first of all is that, The Psalms are such a rich place for us to relate to God. I think for many years, especially in the beginning, I, I wanted my prayers. I was so afraid of like, dishonoring God, um, that I, I wasn't completely honest, even though God knows our hearts already. But the Psalms really provided a way for me to express the depth of my despair and anguish and confusion. But also give words of praise and hope and belief and faith. And so if, if nothing else, learn how to connect with God, um, through the psalmist. And, um, and it's, it really does, like God, God is so faithful. Um, you know, he's always present. He's always waiting for us. And something I've been thinking about recently is how, you know, there's so many. The mystery that we are living in right now, the mystery, each of us, you know, that we don't understand, you know, like, why, God, when I'm praying for this, you give me this, you know, why, why do you allow this? Or, but I was, I was thinking how like in heaven we won't, we won't have that mystery. This is our only opportunity to live and to exercise the faith that God wants from us. And to live, to live with the suffering. Will have eternity to, to know and to understand and to live with all the, all the goodness that God has stored up for us. But every moment right now, we have um, you know, to not, to not waste it. And um, I don't think God will allow any of our struggles or sufferings to be wasted when we offer it back to him. And so just take heart, cuz. You know, he's, he's such a God of all the details and he doesn't miss it. Um, so I can entrust it to him.

Melissa: 26:21

And folks, if this is resonating with you, if you're finding a connection here, click the link in the show Notes to Car's website and check out the Suffering. Well blog. There are a lot of wonderful articles in there. They do strike a chord of connection and I think you'll be enriched by reading those and check out the book, suffering Redeemed, finding Strength to Endure Purpose and Pain, and Hope for Tomorrow, and then share it with someone else who may need it as well. Caris, thank you so much for joining us today.

Karis: 26:58

Thank you. Thanks for having me.